i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
