if you like me you must not know who I am
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize