the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
