just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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