in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just googled if crying burns calories
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
