spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
there is glitter all over my balls
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