I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
