Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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