It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
