Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
