Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
