Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
