I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
