Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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