I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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