I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My vagina just clenched in fear
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
