She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
is that a dick in a sweater?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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