i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
