she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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