Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
