Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
