You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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