Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
