Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You're like the curious george of whores
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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