sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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