i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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