He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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