I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
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no more duck duck goose at the bar
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Why is there bacon in the couch?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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