I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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