: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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