I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
