never play flip cup with pint glasses
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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