i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
