Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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