We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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