Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
His nipple licking is glorious
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