Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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