Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
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