I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
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she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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