I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
