It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
