watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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