I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
