I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
