i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
