He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize