Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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