come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
