new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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