So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
