So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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