Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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