I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
