first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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