we have officially lost it.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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