I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
