Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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