I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
