I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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