Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
