Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
