Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
