belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
