trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
