Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
