i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
