we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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