Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
