WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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