Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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