fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize